I've got a nasty habit
It started to happen in 2011, I think. I'd been having trouble with something like heartburn, or so I thought. It was occurring too often, and it was worse than heartburn. I went to the doctor, although he wasn't my usual doctor. He was young, and he didn't really seem to know what the problem was ... then he hit on it - it was my heart! He seemed to panic, and arranged for an ambulance to take me to hospital asap. Tests in the ambulance seemed fine.
I then spent the night in hospital having tests. Everything seemed fine except at some point - days/weeks later there was a question of 'a shadow on my lung'. Scare 2.
About now, the nasty habit began. What music would I have for the funeral?! Obviously it's important to get your affairs in order, but is music for the occasion important? Well it is, and then again it isn't. I was going to think of all sorts of music, but wait a minute: this isn't Desert Island Discs, it's not a show. And again this is an aspect of the habit - choosing a song or songs, then dismissing them on the basis that no-one else will like them. For a while I was thinking of David Bowie - Blackout (from "Heroes") but very few would like that, and is it 'appropriate' anyway. No, not really. I do know of a funeral where a playlist from that person's computer files was played at the beginning - I think that's a neat idea. That's what they liked.
Scare 2 wasn't a shadow on the lung. Then soon after there was Scare 3 - can't even remember what it was. Must think of the music for my funeral. Of course, then the argument goes: I'd like this/nobody will like it/And I won't be around anyway to hear it, so what's the point.
But still, I must revise my list. The basic habit remains: as soon as I hear a song I like, I think 'ah, that would be good for my funeral'. It's a nasty habit because it has almost become an automatic response to hearing that likeable song.
Current puzzle is - which version. Warren Zevon doing 'Mohammed's Radio' (original version) or Piano demo, or by The Matthew Show. The Matthew Show has some really good drumming at the beginning and some great alternating sound but ...
Bob Dylan - 'Ring Them Bells', or Natasha Bedingfield, or for that matter by Heart. A Christian song - is that a bit confusing? I'm an atheist. It's still a good song, and I wasn't an atheist when I first heard it ... doesn't matter - the quality of the song overrides the mind games. I've just been swayed by a version by a young singer from Texas called Sarah Jarosz - she plays mandolin, guitar etc. and is quite brilliant.
And so it goes on. Each song is soon to be stricken from the (non-existing) list, to make way for another, and then maybe reinstated.
I know somebody who has one song on her list. She heard it at a friend's funeral, and for years and years, that's the one. No change of mind for her.
Just listening to a Warren Zevon cover, by Tom Flannery, of 'Boom Boom Mancini' about boxing. Will that be the one? They won't like it.
I then spent the night in hospital having tests. Everything seemed fine except at some point - days/weeks later there was a question of 'a shadow on my lung'. Scare 2.
About now, the nasty habit began. What music would I have for the funeral?! Obviously it's important to get your affairs in order, but is music for the occasion important? Well it is, and then again it isn't. I was going to think of all sorts of music, but wait a minute: this isn't Desert Island Discs, it's not a show. And again this is an aspect of the habit - choosing a song or songs, then dismissing them on the basis that no-one else will like them. For a while I was thinking of David Bowie - Blackout (from "Heroes") but very few would like that, and is it 'appropriate' anyway. No, not really. I do know of a funeral where a playlist from that person's computer files was played at the beginning - I think that's a neat idea. That's what they liked.
Scare 2 wasn't a shadow on the lung. Then soon after there was Scare 3 - can't even remember what it was. Must think of the music for my funeral. Of course, then the argument goes: I'd like this/nobody will like it/And I won't be around anyway to hear it, so what's the point.
But still, I must revise my list. The basic habit remains: as soon as I hear a song I like, I think 'ah, that would be good for my funeral'. It's a nasty habit because it has almost become an automatic response to hearing that likeable song.
Current puzzle is - which version. Warren Zevon doing 'Mohammed's Radio' (original version) or Piano demo, or by The Matthew Show. The Matthew Show has some really good drumming at the beginning and some great alternating sound but ...
Bob Dylan - 'Ring Them Bells', or Natasha Bedingfield, or for that matter by Heart. A Christian song - is that a bit confusing? I'm an atheist. It's still a good song, and I wasn't an atheist when I first heard it ... doesn't matter - the quality of the song overrides the mind games. I've just been swayed by a version by a young singer from Texas called Sarah Jarosz - she plays mandolin, guitar etc. and is quite brilliant.
And so it goes on. Each song is soon to be stricken from the (non-existing) list, to make way for another, and then maybe reinstated.
I know somebody who has one song on her list. She heard it at a friend's funeral, and for years and years, that's the one. No change of mind for her.
Just listening to a Warren Zevon cover, by Tom Flannery, of 'Boom Boom Mancini' about boxing. Will that be the one? They won't like it.
posted by Barrie Gordon at 10:21 PM
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