"The Hilton India, please"
...or 'The things people say'.
I was travelling on a busy tube on Wednesday, happily engrossed in my newspaper, when I overheard a man on his mobile. He was close by, so I heard it clearly: "The Hilton India, please". He didn't say anything else at all, but stayed on the phone for a few minutes. It just struck me as funny, and it made me wonder what it was all about. In those situations you conjure up all sorts of scenarios, possibly several way off the mark, but who knows. Was he through to India, making an enquiry about a possible booking or through to international phone enquiries to get a number? Is there such a thing as The Hilton India in the UK? I obviously don't know, and I'm not spending time finding out. In the end it was down to him, and him alone, and I got to laugh about it. It struck me also, that he may have been spinning a joke himself, as my mobile doesn't work for much of the underground, so his may not have either.
Then there was the time I was on the tube, and there was the announcement: "This is to remind all customers, that there is no swimming anywhere on the underground"...or so I heard! I don't think there was anything freudian about it, just that I hadn't heard right. It's usually 'smoking' that isn't allowed anywhere on the underground - you can swim there as much as you like!
In 1981, my wife was expecting our second child. On Friday 20th February the baby stopped moving, and shortly afterwards we went to the hospital for an urgent scan. The Ultrasonographer knew the reason we were there, and started the process. Within a few moments she was complaining that "There must be something wrong with the machine" when nothing showed up on the monitor. We said to her that that was probably because the baby was dead. She didn't seem fazed by this at all. I don't remember her saying anything remotely apologetic. I don't know if she ever learned anything from the experience, so I hope she ultimately lost her job. And the baby, Marie, was dead.
Then there was the time in our first house when we had flowers in every room, of all colours, types, and descriptions. There was the scent of the flowers everywhere. There was a ring at the front door, and a delivery man was standing there with another bunch of flowers, and he said "What's the happy occasion?". I told him there wasn't one - our daughter was stillborn. He was very sorry, and clearly felt awkward about assuming the best. I hope this incident didn't curb him making positive innocent comments elsewhere.
We were having our kitchen done in our first house, and the Irish tiler had just completed his tiling. He invited us to have a look. The tiles were patterned, clearly orientated top and bottom, and we said to him straight away that they were upside down. He said no words, but gracefully went forward and started to unhinge them from the adhesive to turn them round. We had to laugh later when we had the chance.
On Thursday I climbed on to a morning commuter bus, and made my way through the crowd and started to stand. Immediately a young teenage girl said "Would you like a seat?" I was very pleasantly taken aback at the coutesy of that girl, particularly as some people are prone to deride youth and assume only the worse of them. Of course I also thought 'Hang on, do I look that old?' I'm 52, not yet in my dotage. It also struck me that this was probably the first time this had happened. I declined of course!, feeling frisky as I do at present but you never know it might be worth accepting sometime. Oh, must go, got to collect my pension!
I was travelling on a busy tube on Wednesday, happily engrossed in my newspaper, when I overheard a man on his mobile. He was close by, so I heard it clearly: "The Hilton India, please". He didn't say anything else at all, but stayed on the phone for a few minutes. It just struck me as funny, and it made me wonder what it was all about. In those situations you conjure up all sorts of scenarios, possibly several way off the mark, but who knows. Was he through to India, making an enquiry about a possible booking or through to international phone enquiries to get a number? Is there such a thing as The Hilton India in the UK? I obviously don't know, and I'm not spending time finding out. In the end it was down to him, and him alone, and I got to laugh about it. It struck me also, that he may have been spinning a joke himself, as my mobile doesn't work for much of the underground, so his may not have either.
Then there was the time I was on the tube, and there was the announcement: "This is to remind all customers, that there is no swimming anywhere on the underground"...or so I heard! I don't think there was anything freudian about it, just that I hadn't heard right. It's usually 'smoking' that isn't allowed anywhere on the underground - you can swim there as much as you like!
In 1981, my wife was expecting our second child. On Friday 20th February the baby stopped moving, and shortly afterwards we went to the hospital for an urgent scan. The Ultrasonographer knew the reason we were there, and started the process. Within a few moments she was complaining that "There must be something wrong with the machine" when nothing showed up on the monitor. We said to her that that was probably because the baby was dead. She didn't seem fazed by this at all. I don't remember her saying anything remotely apologetic. I don't know if she ever learned anything from the experience, so I hope she ultimately lost her job. And the baby, Marie, was dead.
Then there was the time in our first house when we had flowers in every room, of all colours, types, and descriptions. There was the scent of the flowers everywhere. There was a ring at the front door, and a delivery man was standing there with another bunch of flowers, and he said "What's the happy occasion?". I told him there wasn't one - our daughter was stillborn. He was very sorry, and clearly felt awkward about assuming the best. I hope this incident didn't curb him making positive innocent comments elsewhere.
We were having our kitchen done in our first house, and the Irish tiler had just completed his tiling. He invited us to have a look. The tiles were patterned, clearly orientated top and bottom, and we said to him straight away that they were upside down. He said no words, but gracefully went forward and started to unhinge them from the adhesive to turn them round. We had to laugh later when we had the chance.
On Thursday I climbed on to a morning commuter bus, and made my way through the crowd and started to stand. Immediately a young teenage girl said "Would you like a seat?" I was very pleasantly taken aback at the coutesy of that girl, particularly as some people are prone to deride youth and assume only the worse of them. Of course I also thought 'Hang on, do I look that old?' I'm 52, not yet in my dotage. It also struck me that this was probably the first time this had happened. I declined of course!, feeling frisky as I do at present but you never know it might be worth accepting sometime. Oh, must go, got to collect my pension!
posted by Barrie Gordon at 5:03 PM
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